Grief
Everyone experiences grief in a different way, but many people can experience some or all of the following:
- Numbness
- Denial
- Anger and guilt
- Pining or yearning
- Depression
- Gradual recovery and acceptance that the person will not return.
Immediately after the death, and for some time afterwards, you may feel numb. You may find it hard to believe that the person is dead. It is common to feel anger that the person has died. The anger may be directed at other people (for example, family members or health professionals) or perhaps at the person who has died, for leaving you at this time.
Physical effects
Some people feel generally physically ill, with symptoms such as:
- Headaches
- Dizziness
- A dry mouth
- Weakness
- Breathlessness
- A feeling of tightness in the chest and throat
- Feeling sick.
Emotional effects
You may have times of very real anxiety and distress, where you strongly miss the dead person and sob or cry aloud for them. Although this tends to happen less often after the first couple of weeks, finding a photograph of them or visiting a place which holds strong memories can trigger upset even months or years afterwards.
The death of someone close to you can turn your emotions on their head, and feel very confusing. Having people around you can be supportive but you may also need to spend some time on your own, coming to terms with what has happened. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions during the grieving process – it’s perfectly natural to cry when you are thinking and talking about your loved one. Tears can help you to feel better, although long periods of crying may make you feel exhausted. Try to find ways of looking after yourself, and let other people help in this way too.