Being prepared
The more prepared you are to talk about what is happening, the more at ease you are likely to be when discussing it with your children. If you find that you cannot talk about it, there are other people who may be able to help. It is important that this is someone who is known and trusted by the child or children, but this may not always be possible. The following people may be able to help:
- A trusted family member
- A friend
- Your family doctor
- A specialist nurse
- A counsellor
- A religious or spiritual person who knows your family and your values, and who your children know and trust
Children often know much more than we imagine, and need to be given permission to talk about it. We need to speak in a language that they will understand, avoid jargon and use open, honest, direct communication. It is best to answer questions at the level that the child has asked them, using similar language and avoiding technical terms.
Even more importantly, we need to listen. Sometimes children may use symbolic language. For instance, 'I'll stay here and look after you' might mean 'I'm frightened to be on my own.'
The information on the previous pages of this section applies equally here. However, there are other considerations:
- What are your priorities?
- How do you want to spend your time?
- How might your children be involved?